Christmas where are you?

So as i look out my window this Friday night I see cars passing by on the street, the thing I have noticed most about this week is the lack of snow....Now usually I don't complain as I hate cold weather, but this year I wish it would look like a winter wonderland cause that makes it seem like Christmas is just around the corner. See christmas this year marks the half way through point of my husbands deployment. Means were on a downhill slope to the end, it means I was strong enough to get on without him. Also Christmas means that our HLTA will be in a few weeks.

I just hate the holidays this year, they mean absolutely nothing to me, I am alone, I have been in Calgary with my family since thanksgiving so I don't have to be alone for the holidays. But it is hard to be so holly-jolly when all i want is it to be over with....I've already planned my drive for where to go on christmas day so I can cry my eyes out.

No one seems to understand how pointless christmas is this year to me. I guess I'll keep plastering on this fake smile and muttle through my christmas shopping and try to ignore everything. The tree goes up next week and it will be a constant reminder that he is not here with me.

At least im almost done 2 months. I just miss him.