Same old waiting game

Just sitting here late at night as usual wondering about the future. I am really tired of this waiting game that has become our relationship....training = waiting, courses = waiting, deployment = alot of waiting and worrying.

Im tired of it, I can't wait for these next 4 months to fly by, It has been going pretty fast even I'll admit that, but I can't wait for a normal-ish relationship where he comes home everynight, I wont have to sit and worry if one of our buddies hero pictures will be on the front page of the newspaper when I awake, or worse a dreaded phonecall or doorbell ring at my own house. I just don't want to live this lifestyle anymore our whole relationship has been this.

It SUCKS and its not enjoyable, many of you are lifers with your man and for that I think your amazing and strong women I'd never want to do this forever. But you are all strong and will make it through, I know this as I rely on you on my bad days.

I guess what im saying is I WANT HIM HOME. Almost 12 weeks down, almost half done.