Best Christmas Gift EVER!

So I was moping around the house tonight feeling down cause of Christmas....and the phone rings!!!!!! Its the hubby and that was special enough for christmas week!!!

So we get to talking and he said he can't wait to open his gifts in a few days, and that he really misses being at home...and he said he is glad I bought myself my pot set (I got it a few days ago on sale for 70 percent off which made them only 300 dollars, and they are my dream pots I've wanted for years Royal Doulton Stainless Steel) for Christmas. Then our conversation went like this....

"So I've been thinking of enrolling in night university classes when I get home" -Hubby
"Oh ya to finish your med school?" -me
"Not really...' - Hubby
"Oh something else then?"
"Ya something like Hospitality management' - hubby
"What? thats the course im taking in like 10 years?!!!" - me utterly confused
"Well you see I was thinking while you work on your red and gold seal Ill get the hospitality management degree and then we can open up your restaurant sooner, in like the next five years." - hubby

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! I started crying I am sooooooooo happppyyyy he is giving me the best gift EVER he is helping even more than ever me reach my dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He wants to open the restaurant in 5 years or less!!!!!!!!!! BEST EVER I AM STOKED....<3
Best christmas gift of my life.

Same old waiting game

Just sitting here late at night as usual wondering about the future. I am really tired of this waiting game that has become our relationship....training = waiting, courses = waiting, deployment = alot of waiting and worrying.

Im tired of it, I can't wait for these next 4 months to fly by, It has been going pretty fast even I'll admit that, but I can't wait for a normal-ish relationship where he comes home everynight, I wont have to sit and worry if one of our buddies hero pictures will be on the front page of the newspaper when I awake, or worse a dreaded phonecall or doorbell ring at my own house. I just don't want to live this lifestyle anymore our whole relationship has been this.

It SUCKS and its not enjoyable, many of you are lifers with your man and for that I think your amazing and strong women I'd never want to do this forever. But you are all strong and will make it through, I know this as I rely on you on my bad days.

I guess what im saying is I WANT HIM HOME. Almost 12 weeks down, almost half done.

He called FINALLY

Hey just thought I would let you all know that he finally called, a month with no phone calls has come to an end.

I am EXTREMELY emotional right now so I can't write much but basically:

Its killing me inside how homesick he is.
He got all my mail finally
He really wants HLTA to start
He hasn't changed one bit, thankfully

I am feeling every kind of feeling there is right now, but mostly I just crazy miss him and want this to end.

Can't stop crying!!!!

I just wanted to let you ladies know, I finally got an email from the hubby....I am completely overwhelmed with emotions in a GOOD way. He knows just what to say to make me get that boost of strength i needed to carry on.

Thanks for all the support lately. =*) 66 days down!

FML...

Argh!!!!!! So after no contact from the hubby for two weeks I finally got an email two days ago saying he was going to try to call tomorrow *which was yesterday* after no call, and NO call this morning either....BEEP-BEEP my phone goes at lunch telling me I got a facebook message from Matt.

Bad News: phone circuits down won't be able to call for at least another two weeks.

FML I wanted sooooo badly to hear his voice now I have to go a whole month without hearing from him, or longer.

I can't wait for this deployment to be over with....a relationship is hard to keep up when you don't get to talk to the person you love and married. Whats worse is I am starting to forget those things he does how he hugs, kisses, talks, etc....I know we all go through that but I just want to talk to him.

Thanks for all the ladies who have been there and still are. BLAH
Hope you all had better days.

You want to WHAT?

So I just got off the phone with my wonderfully TERRIBLE mother-in-law!!!!!!!!!! None of you will believe this but this is how our conversation went!!

"So im going to be down on Friday to drop off your guy's christmas gifts." i said.
"Okay, well I needed to talk to you about something..." MIL
"Sure whats up?" me
"I need to stay at your's and Matts place for 5 days at the end of Janurary" MIL
***SHOCK!!! WTF!!! WE ARE ON HLTA!!! OKAY KEEP IT COOL BE POLITE*** my brain!
"Um, well we are on HLTA then" Me
"Great so it will work out perfectly I can stay with you guys longer then!" MIL
"Well you see we might not be home and such cause we are going skiing, so i don't think it will work" ME
"Well I don't see why not, if your gone I can get your mail and such" MIL
"I really don't see....." Me
"I gotta run, talk to you on Friday about it!"


WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would have not seen my husband for 4 months and a few odd days and you want to crash at our place and spend time with us!? Especially when we had already told ALL our families that we are not talking to or seeing them during HLTA!

We as a couple as our family, need to spend quality time together. Not quality time with someone who hates me!

Read the news...BAD IDEA

So I made a big mistake after having a semi-bad day. I read the news about afghanistan. Well to put it lightly my husbands regiment wrote a whole article about how the tanks got hit by IED's alot in the past tour. And how no one got killed and only two got injured it still scares me so much. Also I read that the situation in Afghanistan is alot worse than everyone thought, and I also read that with the INCREASED level of taliban activity this winter my husbands tour should be quite eventful and not in a good way. Also I read that there is a high rate of PTSD in afghan vets.

I am crying and I miss him, and I want him to come home and be the same man that left. And I want him to call and I want this war to be over so no one has to go through this.
:*(

Christmas where are you?

So as i look out my window this Friday night I see cars passing by on the street, the thing I have noticed most about this week is the lack of snow....Now usually I don't complain as I hate cold weather, but this year I wish it would look like a winter wonderland cause that makes it seem like Christmas is just around the corner. See christmas this year marks the half way through point of my husbands deployment. Means were on a downhill slope to the end, it means I was strong enough to get on without him. Also Christmas means that our HLTA will be in a few weeks.

I just hate the holidays this year, they mean absolutely nothing to me, I am alone, I have been in Calgary with my family since thanksgiving so I don't have to be alone for the holidays. But it is hard to be so holly-jolly when all i want is it to be over with....I've already planned my drive for where to go on christmas day so I can cry my eyes out.

No one seems to understand how pointless christmas is this year to me. I guess I'll keep plastering on this fake smile and muttle through my christmas shopping and try to ignore everything. The tree goes up next week and it will be a constant reminder that he is not here with me.

At least im almost done 2 months. I just miss him.

The phone still isn't ringing....

So I got a short email from my Hubby at 2 am he said he was gonna call tonight....Silly me I got my hopes up.

I am have been trying to keep busy all night so the hours pass, and my mind keeps getting distracted, I made a list of things we NEEDED to talk about, watched TV, played monopoly, crocheted, read....and still no call.

I know he gets busy, I know things happen over there that prevent him from calling but when alot of the other wives hear ALL the time, it gets to me....now i have friends that don't hear hardly ever and I understand that it is all different depending on each guy, etc.

But why? Why? can't the silly CF realize that its really hard to have a marriage put on hold for 6 months. I went from having my best-friend around to talk to about everything ALL THE TIME...to my best-friend being 10,000 km away.
I can't call him, he never gets to call me, he's never hardly online.

Sometimes its hard to realize that there is any good coming from this deployment.

Oh and another thing that is getting to me lately is EVERYONE is expecting me to be in a holly-jolly mood because christmas is coming, well guess what christmas means nothing to me cause I don't get to spend it with the one person I love the most....Why doesn't anyone understand that???????

Just Remember.

This is directed at no one, I just wanted to let everyone know that this month we should Remember. Remember everytime: You have to work an hour late/ The canadian troops are working 24/7 You don't get to see your spouse today/ Many spouses are overseas, we won't see them for half a year or more Your five minutes late for work you have a bad day/ If the troops are five minutes late their friends might not be alive You take out your anger on that cashier who messed up/ She might not have heard from her husband in two weeks to know if he is okay. You don't buy a poppy and don't really care/ We wear a poppy because we are trying to remember our friends/husbands/bf who are no longer with us. Just remember that every-time your life feels "terrible" that there are brave men and woman fighting for your freedom in a far away land. There are all the wives and families, staying here pretending to smilie as they wonder where there spouses are, and when they will see them again. Thank you to the Canadian Forces and the Families. LEST WE FORGET - Till they all come home. RIP the Canadian Soldiers.

Tears

We lost the first soldier of the Roto today, I've cried, prayed, and keep thinking that my hubby will be keeping home. RIP Lt. Boyes

May no Soldier be forgotten, Until they all come home.

Finally heading in a good direction.

I thought I would let you know that I finally got a short email from the hubby this morning.

We have agreed that the best action plan is to use the tour money to pay off the loans, and we will still have enough money for our wedding and getting me a car. So I am feeling 100X better now that I know what we are doing and where we are headed financially.

I am glad to have finally heard from him, who knew that two sentences could make me smile so much.
Thanks to all you ladies who have dealt with difficult me during this past week.

BEST FRIEND EVER!

So i would just like to say that I got the BEST Best-friend ever.

I got a text today that basically said "I'm sad our guys are gone, but glad we can grow closer through this, and i'm really glad im your maid-of-honour. "

I SMILED and meant it today!! She is the only person besides my Hubby that can always cheer me up. And im so blessed to have a friend like her. (I also met her because of a site like this.)

I am also blessed to have all my other friends who help on BLAH days.

ONE MONTH DOWN!!!

My feelings right now are best described in these messages I sent my hubby:

I never thought it was going to be easy, I knew it was gonna be hard, and we would have to work at it everyday...but I want to do that cause I want you, you and me forever and always...no matter what comes our way we can get through it, I found a stillness and bravery in myself with you. I'll be seeing you soon, Love you Miss You

ONE MONTH Down...we're done the first and the worst. I miss you SO much and sometimes it feels like yesterday that I kissed you good-bye, other days it feels like a lifetime since I've seen your face. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. I Miss you and Love you Always and Forever

Crying and Frustrated

So today started off bad to begin with, I woke up checked my banking online to find out that our insurance payment still hasn't gone through our joint account it was suppose to come out on the 15th. Call AMA and they wouldn't tell me anything because I am not Matt, and they needed Matt to send them a fax authorizing me to have access to the account....which I was suppose to have access to. AND the freaken lady didnt understand WHY there are no fax machines in a WARZONE!

ARGH! So I figure ill get my brother to call back and be "Matt" which worked out and I got the info i needed it was coming out of our savings account, great I was in a good mood.

Then I opened the mail that got sent to his mom's house which she gave to me.....

%)^$%)&$(%&$)@#(!) WE OWE roughly $10,000 to student loans which I had NO idea about!! When I moved in with him last year M left he told me that he was almost done paying off the loans and had been making monthly payments, so I never worried about it!!

But NOPE we OWE the money apparently from what they tell me, Im frustrated as hell cause I don't know why this happened, M never lies to me and was SURE he was making monthly payments. None of it makes sense.

SO now im pissed off cause we had such good plans for the tour money, we were suppose to pay for our wedding, get me a used car, and start working on our house down-payment.

Now all the money will go towards the debt. FML I am so frustrated, I don't even know if I should pay them off in full, make minimum payments or book our HLTA trip.

So i sent him an email about the debt and asked him what he wants me to do.....

Im fine with waiting a few years to have our wedding and I am fine with taking Transit to school, but the point is I THOUGHT the tour money was going to what we wanted not debt.

Sorry for the vent its just a bad day.

Good wake-up call.

SO MY HUBBY CALLED FINALLY!!! GOTTA TALK TO HIM FOR 20 MINUTES!!!

I LOVE MY HUSBAND MY HERO....just thought i would share.

OH and he was like...I dont think i wanna do police anymore once i get out...

MY HEART DROPPED!! He wants to do another tour i thought...

NOPE he wants to be an EMS. SO HAPPY

Some of my facebook status and quotes that have helped me through this....

"I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. And that doesn't mean there's not gonna be hard days or difficult things to deal with, because there will be. But finding that person who does it for you and knowing that person loves you back it just makes everything so much easier. " - OTH

"A blind bird sings inside the cage that is my heart, the image of your face comes to me when I am alone in the dark. If I could give a shape to this ache that I have for you, If I could find the voice that says the words to capture you. " - from the song Dela

"While I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days with your heart." - unknown

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes all you need is one." - OTH

"I've talked to friends, I've talked to myself, I've talked to God, I prayed liked hell but I still miss you, I tried sober I tried drinking, I've been strong and I've been weak and I still miss you, I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to, I'd give anything for one more minute with you, I still miss you" - Keith Anderson

"When you can't touch him, sleep next to him, talk to him, laugh with him, or tell him you love him, pray for him" - Unknown

"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will." - Unknown

"And it’s killing me all.. I’ve got is a memory...Of watching him leaving the way that he did...I go to sleep thinking about him I wake up without him.. It’s darker than life is he’s hard to miss" -unknown song

"Some days are full of darkness and shadows and sometime you dont wanna know how they'll end cause how could the end be happy? But then eventually the darkness passes, and a new day will come and when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. " - JRR Tolkein

Faith, Hope, Love & Peace

I was sitting here on my mom's living room couch, thinking of my Hubby and realized something. My hand left hand was gripping my husbands cross I wear around my neck, my hand was right above my heart and my wedding ring was on my left hand.

I thought this was a perfect example of things you need to get through the deployment. Faith (my husbands cross), Love (my heart), and Hope (my wedding ring, the hope for our future together).

I also after I noticed that; found it Ironic that the peace symbol is two fingers separated. To gain peace you have to separate from the ones you love.

Just thought I would share the random musings of my brain. Lol

HLTA confirmed and talk with Hubby

So most of you know that since my husband has left he has been crazy stupid busy, Which is great for him but sucky for me cause we never get to talk...and the phones have been down the majority of the time he has been gone. Hadn't heard from him since Thanksgiving weekend (my one line message)

Last night as I was about to shut-off my computer and go to sleep i get a notification pop up that says "You have one new email from Matt"

YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!! So i opened my email to find his flight information for HLTA!! I'm so glad its confirmed and that i will actually get to see him in ## Days!!

Its still a long way out till our HLTA but im still stoked and excited for it!

Then to make my night better I figured I'd wait a couple minutes and see if he would log onto Facebook....waiting, waiting, waiting and nothing....just as i was about to log off..I get a message pop-up "Hey Baby"

OMG Im so glad I got to have a conversation with him finally. The longest time we have talked since he left, i'm glad it was online though cause i was crying the whole time, it was wonderful to talk to him and know he isn't changing and is still the same guy (I was worried for awhile that he distancing himself from me during the deployment, silly what stress makes you think)

I loved talking to him for the 20 minutes, but it also made me cry a lot since It made me miss him terribly. Glad tomorrow I am done one month of this deployment!

Just thought I'd share the good news.

No news is good news, except this email...

So after not hearing from the hubby for awhile...i log on today to find out that he sent me an email!!! The first one was very sweet and nice....and the second one was shitty as his tour got extended. Not by much, but by a bit. And geez guess what SHOCKER the phones are STILL down. Oh, sometimes it is better to hear no news.

Fake smile all the time.

Finds it so amusing how when I walk down the street all the people passing me hold on to there other half, smiling and laughing yet no one notices that this smile is fake, my heart is 10,000 km away and that my husband is at war....Some people take so much for granted.

Oh it's Thanksgiving, BTW the phones are down....

So I missed him being on Facebook by two yes two %$*& seconds. Haven't heard from him in days...thought i would at least get some kind of call today. But nope I missed him by two seconds on facebook; if a friend hadn't told me he was online i wouldn't have realized till i logged in later. I miss him....and i really wish he was here this weekend.

I've stayed positive most of the weekend but now im just angry that i missed him, all i got was a two line message
"I love you, phones are down, internet just got back up, call you in a few days." I am thankful that at least i got that, but i just miss talking to him, seeing him, being with him...

I miss my best friend.

And what is worse is after i ran to the computer logged in and saw the message, I told my family that I missed him he had logged off and the phones were down...their response: "The phones aren't down he just doesn't want to call you."

Gee thanks I needed that, I know its not true I know he would call if he could but seriously I dont need crappy comments like that on thanksgiving or any other time during the deployment. ARGH.

I've found a bravery within you...

So today my family wanted to go to the local pool and go swimming before we have our big thanksgiving dinner tomorrow...Great idea I love swimming but of course I didn't pack my swimsuit. So I ran over to wal-mart and bought a cheap $5 bikini. Now I wear bikini's all the time but I hate my thighs and I have a few stretch marks, now I like my body in general and have no problem wear short-shorts and such but only around my Hubby....So whenever we go swimming I have always worn surf shorts over my bikini bottoms makes me feel a whole lot more comfortable. But of course I didn't pack those either...so I had to wear a bikini to the pool! Big step for me, hubby tried to get me to do this once before and I told him that I was too nervous...Well by filling my head with all his supportive thoughts of me being sexy, gorgeous, etc. I found the bravery to wear a bikini!!

WOW it felt so liberating I felt sexy and attractive and no one seemed to notice my few stretch marks...I guess even with him gone he gives me a sense of bravery and confidence that only he can provide. Now I will never wear those surf shorts over my bikini again.

Now all I have left to do is cook my first Thanksgiving dinner solo, and make it thru tomorrow without crying! Wish me luck

So my thoughts of recent are I miss my hubby even more near a holiday; Happy Thanksgiving everyone btw. Here are my other thoughts:

It doesn't matter whether you feel useful or not when you're moving from one disaster to another. The trick, I guess, is to just keep moving.

&

When you can't touch him, sleep next to him, talk to him, tell him you love him, or laugh with him...pray for him.

Matt's Poem

Matt's Poem

If i had one day left on earth, id wanna spend it with you...

I wanna get lost in a parachute hanger with you...

I wanna run faraway with no apparent reason with you..

I wanna be there kissing you goodbye when you get on that bus...

I wanna be there in a red dress, holding coffee when you get off that plane...

I wanna keep you warm when you get home, and tuck you into bed...

I wanna be the one your thoughts turn to in the middle of the gunfire...

I wanna be the one to write you letters...

I wanna be the one to cool down your bed...

I wanna be the one to touch your back with my freezing ice hands...

I wanna be the picture in your helmet, you tell the guys your going home too me...

I wanna be there for you no matter how hard it will be...

If i had one day left on earth, id wanna spend it with you...

By Mariah Seders

(Copyright)

Things I've learned about LOVE

I can't describe love at all but these are the things I've learned with you being gone:

I've learned that your the one thing I can't stand to lose.

That you are a person I not only need in my life, but someone I certainly want in my life

I could never find anyone that knows me as well as you do.

Even though your only a photo and a phone call lately I still only have to close my eyes and its like your right here.

You make me an emotional wreck, your the only person that can do that to me.

I wanna grow old with you, keep care of you when your sick, always be with you, and be your number one support through everything.

In your darkest times the memory of love will see you through.

Our love is so strong I know we can do this; and I will wait for you forever.

I can't imagine my life without you. I never thought I would find someone as amazing as you.

And as always...If I had one day left on earth I'd want to spend it with you.

Ik Houd Van Jou Always and Forever

Two Weeks!!

Well I've made it through the first 2 weeks of the deployment; that is also 14 days or 336 hours. I will never have to relieve those 2 weeks ever again, they are crossed off my calendar in permanent marker. The days keep going by and before I know it this deployment will be over. I cannot wait to get christmas over with cause after that it is all downhill!

Phone Calls, Family, and Hospitals

So I drove down yesterday to my hometown to live with my family for the first four months of the deployment; the drive was LONG and boring. Once I get here things are going pretty good till my sister starts crying in pain, her head hurts and her stomach....so off to the hospital we go! After being there from 9 pm to 3 am she is told to take Advil and go home. We come home and at 6 am she is crying still and in more pain...so I stay home and take the sleeping shift and everyone else goes back to the hospital...after countless phone calls as I am trying to sleep from the hospital. Finally the phone rings AGAIN...this time its a good phone call from my HUBBY!!

He told me that Afghanistan is actually beautiful and that he's keeping really busy, gave me a VERY random list of things he needs sent over to him...Told me he really misses me. I asked if he wanted to go on tour again after this, and he was like NO, no way am I leaving you again. <3

Anyways I am home, my sister is still in the hospital, and I am gonna start getting regular-ish contact with the hubby.

PS they want me to send air-freshener. lol

C SQN is coming home...Work-up as started.

So as I check my usual websites for the news, I read an article that as of yesterday C SQN is coming home; travel safely and enjoy a warm and welcome reunion at home...

Also I was talking to one of the other Strathcona wives today and she told me her hubby has been in Germany for the last couple of weeks on work-up training so he can go on tour to replace my husband and his buddies in April.

I remember that this time last year I got a phone call from the hubby saying "Im going to be deployed..."

I also remember how close it was when we just finished work-up training....before I know it he will be home and the new set of CF men and women will be going over there to take his place. My faith, hope, and prayers are with everyone.

Address

If you are sending things overseas the main address format is as follows for LdSH (RC):

RANK/INITIALS/NAME
UNIT/SECTION
OP ATHENA
PO BOX 5058 STN FORCES
BELLEVILLE ON K8N 5W6

The days go by...

Well the days keep going by, its almost like I'm in a dream. I wake-up go about my day, come home, cross off my day on the calendar, and crawl into bed. I walk around and people all around me have no idea that my husband is at war...I see a soldier in uniform and smile... The ones who know he's overseas call and chat and try to help. Im so thankful to the people who are helping me through this. I am getting all my T's crossed and I's dotted since I will be moving home soon to be around family. Skype has become my best friend allowing me to see the people I care about. Slowly the days go by, I stay in my daze...Hope he calls soon but I probably won't hear for quite a few more days.

I'll be starting my first care-package soon and everyone is writing letters for me to send off in the mail.

Phone Call At Last

So I wanted to let you all know that I got a phone call from the hubby tonight! He is adjusting to the heat, misses home a lot and agreed that we will make it up in the next 80 years, is keeping busy, won't be in contact for a few days, reminded me of the time change, told me to get some sleep, he hasn't been eating much cause of the heat, and also LOVES ME and misses me. He also has already started a list of stuff he needs in his first care-package! Which I will get start on as soon as I get the list emailed to me.

Things I've Learned as an Army wife

So I was thinking about all the things that make an Army wife unique and strong, and thought I would write down some things that I have learned over my short time as being an Army Wife and I thought I would say maybe it will help you future wives.

Its OKAY to cry, have really terrible days where all you wanna do is sleep.

A Deployment will never be a good time, it will suck ALOT, you will never not be lonely, and you will always miss and think about your husband, all you can do is find a way to make the days bearable and the time pass.

Rely on friends, but the people who are always there for you are your family...and you will really find out who your friends are during a deployment.

It's okay to call the base and ask every and all stupid questions, thats what they are there for.

A phone-call is PERFECT, and email WONDERFUL, and a text message EXCITING, but having your husband home will always be PRICELESS.

The things that drive you crazy about your husband when they are home, dirty laundry on the floor, annoying habits, etc. are the things you will miss!

Any date, time, appointment that the army sets up, will change not once but thousands of times.

Anything you try to plan more than 24 hours in advance has a 75% chance of getting rescheduled by the army

Write everything in pencil. But cross days off your calendar in permanent marker you will never have to relive that day again.

You will need to be supremely independent when he is gone, but let him be the man of the house and your partner and help out when he is home.

Its perfectly alright to cry, if you need to just take 10 minutes go into your car, bathroom, office and just cry. Don't bottle it all in it won't help let it out break down, then move on.

Write in a journal every night when they are gone, the good the bad and the ugly of your day. Let them read it when they get home they appreciate it.

Just because the person you fall in love with is in the army doesn't mean you know what you signed up for, or knew how hard it would be.

No news, is good news.

And the most important thing I have learned during this deployment is: I will never ever take one single moment one single second with my husband home for granted. And he really is the love of my life!

You Know Your a Military Spouse when.....

1. You don't mind a phone call/ text message waking you up at 4 a.m.

2. You tell people that ask that he's 'only' been gone a month.

3. The smallest contact (short email or 2 minute phone call) from your man makes your entire week!

4. You cry over an email that says nothing more than hey- I love you and I miss you.

5. Those recruitment commercials on TV make you cry because you are so proud!

6. You sleep in PT attire, cuddled up in a ranger blanket, because it's the closest you can come to being with your military man. (hah)

7. You're sitting at home and you realize that you haven't talked to your boyfriend/hubby (on the phone) in over a month.

8. You become heartbroken just knowing that your boyfriend/hubby tried to call but wasn't able to get through.

9. You know your a military girlfriend/wife when your favorite 'man' to see everyday is the MAILMAN (what a love/hate relationship that is).

10. You stop shaving above the knees. (or shaving at all.. lol)

11. A 30 second phone call after no calls from him for 3 months leaves you full of joy and happiness.

12. "No news is good news" becomes your motto.

13. You could wait forever for your loved one to return home into your arms.

14. You feel yourself growning more and more in love with your military man even while he's so far away.

15. Planning letters/care packages and putting them in the mail is more exciting then going out for a night on the town with the girls.

16. You hold off on seeing certain movies so you can see them with your military man when he comes home.

17. YOU WANT TO ROLL YOUR EYES WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY, "I haven't seen my boyfriend/girlfriend or hubby/wife in a week!". (AMEN!!!)

18. You can go from being happy, to sad, to lonely, to angry, to proud, and back to happy in a matter of less than an hour.

19. You sleep with the phone right next to you, just in case.

20. If he's deployed you don't care how your hair looks nor care about wearing make-up, and the people at your work ask about your boyfriend/hubby every day to see if you've heard from him.

21. The sight of any other man in a uniform makes you miss your boyfriend/hubby MORE than it makes you drool.

22. You feel lucky for each second granted to the two of you.

23. You are 3000 miles apart and you dont notice the time difference and talk until 5 am his time 2 am your time on a school night.

24. Phone kisses are just as good as the real ones if not better.

25. You realize you can forgive your boyfriend/hubby for not calling you for a few weeks due to the fact he really had to work.

26. Your cell phone shows 87 screens full of the number 2 for "repeat message" after you hear he left you a voice mail because you missed his first and only call so far!

27. Going 3-6 months without seeing your man seems like a drop in the bucket compared to what you have been through before.

28. You haven't heard from them in awhile and you find yourself reading the old letters you have received. It's just something comforting to feel close to him in a way.

29. You don't bat an eyelash when he say's "Uh, Honey they changed when I'm supposed to return home, yet again (for the 18th millionth time)".

30. Everytime you see him it feel's like it's for the first time all over again...EVERYTIME

31. You have enough cadpat in your house to wallpaper every square inch..

32. You write EVERYTHING in pencil because it will change

33. You need a translator to talk to civilian friends because they dont know what LAV, PT, HLTA, etc..mean

34. You refer to people you know as civilians

35. You sort your husband/boyfriends laundry into civilian and combats piles.

36. You save an especially stinky shirt to get you through a deployment.

37. You only know the last name of the people your husband works with and if by chance he mentions them by their first name you have no idea who he is talking about..

38. You quit trying to plan things more than a week out.

39. When asked to spell your last name over the phone, you can do it in perfect phonetic alphabet.

40. You wouldn't dream going anywhere without your cellphone, and all your other numbers forward to it.

41. Your husband spends more time getting ready for a formal function than you do, and on an average day spends way too much time ironing, polishing shoes, and shaping his beret, polishing collar dogs, etc.

42.If you know what "leave" is and have looked forward to being able to use it.

43. You can unpack a house and have everything in place in 48 hours.

44. Your husbands work and dress clothes cost more than yours do

45. You've changed more oil, and mowed more lawns than your spouse cause they are never home to do it.

46. You know that it's normal to light shoe polish on fire and that the best way to spit-shine boots is with cotton balls.

47. You know that "back home" doesn't mean at the house you live in now.

48. You don't have to think about what time 21:30 is.

49. You pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies, at the mall when you see someone in camo, even though you used to yell at your husband for doing the same thing.

50.You start ripping open rations and looking for the chocolate when you run out of Halloween candy.

51. You have rations in your cupboard.

52. You help your neighbor move some stuff in your car and as you’re taking stuff out you ask, “Wait, is this your pistol holster or ours?”

53. You walk into a post office and they ask "what are we sending him today?" Also when you say that you will see them in a few weeks and the post office people laugh and say "yeah right, see you in a few days".

54. When driving in the car, your spouse start pointing out things like, "broken down car, left", "Dog, right"...when you ask him why...he says sorry i was pointing out THREATS...

55. You know that TV is to be avoided for the first days he returns home, case gunfire is heard..and that turning on the shower, does in fact sound like artillery....You have accidentally forgot this, and have had him tackle you down at 5 am to protect you from ENEMY FIRE! lmao

56. His last three, and his last name is written on EVERTHING, including his civvy clothes.

57. You live on your own and by yourself more after you're married than before you were married.

58. You are in a disagreement with a bill collector and say, "Let me speak with your commander!"

59. You ask someone to hold on a second by saying, "Stand by."

60. If you have a power of attorney, USE it, and freak out when it expires

61. If you've ever felt a twinge of jealousy seeing a couple enjoy each other's company in public somewhere while your spouse was gone. *And yelled at them*

Last few days!

So these are the last few days before my husband will be deploying; he finished all his packing tonight, today he got his task-force coin. Slowly everything is becoming about the deployment. I feel like I am so alone, and that this will be SO hard one minute and then the next minute I'm thinking how I made it through all the work-up training and this will be over before I know it.

There are many things I am not looking forward to: dinners alone, not having my best friend around who I can tell anything too, stress, and spending our first holidays in our place alone.

But also trying to stay positive there are some things I am looking forward to: starting my apprenticeship for cooking, halloween with some good friends, planning our wedding ceremony and reception, wedding dress shopping, making care-packages, and that after the deployment we will have made it through one of the hardest things a married couple can go through. After all they say distance makes the heart grow fonder right?!